As a mom of three, with my youngest about to start high school, I’ve been in the trenches with them as they’ve navigated academic and social pressures. Walking alongside them has brought back memories of my own struggles with these same pressures and experiences. Thirty years ago, we spent our days riding bikes from house to house, using the one house phone to call friends and then trying to gain some privacy by stretching the phone cord as far as it could go behind a closed door. We didn’t know what our cumulative grades were in any class unless we asked to look in the teacher’s grade book. Looking back and comparing my own experiences with my children’s, things were so much easier then.
Today, our youth have access to technology that has improved and evolved over the years allowing for easy access to social media and the internet. We now have platforms available to share our lives with family and friends across long distances. We can find groups that support our personal interests and where we can freely express ourselves. Computer use in schools now gives the ability to complete assignments without misplacing them. Grades can now be tracked daily, and parents can see first-hand which assignments are missing or received poor grades.
With such great advances comes the negative effects of social comparison, fear of missing out, stressing over every new grade posted, and pressure from parents who have access to assignments. During our small group time, teens share their struggles about these situations. They talk about what they see their friends doing desiring to belong. They worry about their grades and the pressure they feel from their parents to pursue college. But as youth leaders, how we come alongside to help and support them can have an everlasting impact.
Our youth need the space to share their concerns with us and their peers. As youth leaders, we can guide conversations around how others in the group feel about these same stressors and discuss healthy coping skills. We can guide them to look at all sides of a situation and find a mutual understanding of a shared event because what we see on social media is only a snapshot through a narrow lens. This lens does not give us the 360-degree view of the full story.
Our youth need the space to share their concerns with us and their peers.
When it comes to academics, a phrase my husband and I like to use in our small groups is, “You don’t have to have it all figured out.” You can watch the weight lift off their shoulders as they hear these words. Roughly 50% of high schoolers don’t know what they want to do after graduation (U.S. Bureau of Labor Statistics), and that’s ok. High school is a great time to try out various interests through internships, classes, work experience, and in conversations with mentors. We encourage our teens to have a plan as they move forward and to be flexible as the plan evolves. The plan may not lead all of them to college but instead to certifications, trade school, military, or straight into the workforce.
As youth leaders, we are not immune to social conflicts and continuing education. We come with our own struggles, but we can reflect and share our experiences, including the detours we took and how God guided us thus far. This is what makes our role in our teens’ lives so unique. We get to have these tough conversations with them and provide insight into what it means to allow Christ to walk with them through their social and academic struggles. We only see the next step on the path before us, but Christ sees where the path is going. We get to encourage our teens to trust Christ to lead their next steps.
We get to have these tough conversations with them and provide insight into what it means to allow Christ to walk with them through their social and academic struggles.
- HELPING STUDENTS MANAGE ACADEMIC AND SOCIAL PRESSURES - September 22, 2026